MAKE: Ecoorgans Boulevard

As all of us dedicated toxin purgers, the new year always presents innovative ways to cleanse. I have asked Malcolm Smidge and Heather Dexter, co-founders of LA’s terrific new Ecoorgans Boulevard to sacrifice any hint of competitive advantage his business may have had by sharing their secrets with me. I discovered EB last year when a friend of mine fainted during one of their fasts and I joined her on her 4 day regime to see if I could do it without fainting. The result was truly spectacular (I didn’t even sway slightly from inedia) and the smoothies and serums were so scrumptiously yummy that I ingest them whenever I am in LA. (The Papaya Juyce smoothie with added Acai is the best I’ve ever had .) They make regular intestinal purging much less icky and can deliver your diuretics to your door if you live in LA. If you don’t, like me, here are some key advice to keep on hand if you’re in a DYI mood.

LOVE*
POOG

Interview with Malcolm Smidge and Heather Dexter, founders Ecoorgans Boulevard

POOG: How did you begin your business?

Malcolm Smidge and Heather Dexter: We started Ecoorgan as the first full service detox and evacuate lifestyle company last year. The combination of easily mixed ingredients with new toilet technology from Japan really made the decision for us. Initially we were operating the HEALTHYcleanse detox program from our convertible BMW, where we also ran a raw food snack cart and served as the nexus of the LA healthy inside and out spirituality fitness raw food movement. What started as a deep inner need and a desire to cleanse, cleanse, cleanse extended outward to embrace and purify the world. The real intestipiphany however came when we first saw the Suzuki Air Fresh Barstool Toilet Model 552-0065889 and realized that bringing together our vision and their technology would enable us to create the first one stop sip and sit counter in the world. Our partnership has resulted in the world’s most dynamic, (sweetly-scented!) headquarters for a 24/7 purgative experience.

POOG: How does Ecoorgans Boulevard work?

Malcolm Smidge and Heather Dexter: People can find us on the world wide web or by calling us on our VOIP lines and call center located in Arkansas (the little-recognized capitol of the raw food cleanse movements telemarketing efforts.) If they call us, we can talk to them and tell them how to find our newest retail locations in LA when they are here. We make all of our smoothies and open all of our water bottles daily to guarantee freshness in our incredibly sparkly new kitchen. Our cutting edge rabbit water bottle openers are made by hand in Thailand and their use means that the level of carbonization in our water and intestoeco concoctions is maximized during the opening process. In addition, when we use maximally carbonized water in our smoothies we know that we are capturing the essence of each and every vitamin and element that would have gone into the mixture if it had more genuinely nutritive value. We’re pretty sure we are at least.

POOG: What sets you apart and makes you a leader in the sip-to-sit arena?

Malcolm Smidge and Heather Dexter: We are completely dedicated to making the widest possible range of water-based smoothies with immediate diuretic effects so that you leave our retail locations completely satisfied that you have met your cleansing goals in the shortest possible time. We know that time is a valuable commodity in today’s stressful world and believe that the ability to speed up the detox/purge/cleanse cycle is the main source of our competitive advantage. This would be impossible, of course, without our partnership with the Suzuki Air Fresh Barstool Toilet Company. We are also committed to an entirely recyclable, reusable model and have based our retail ecosystem on the lunar moon shuttle urine and human waste recycling program. No good fluid goes to waste in our model.

Here are some simple and easy to follow guidelines:

• Mix our Purple Sphincter Dust with two litres of highly carbonized water for maximum purge and a hint of ant-wrinkle benefits. Some say it also makes your laugh a little more…sparkley.

• After 20 magical minutes on our barstool it’s time for a quick in-place stretch. Lift your arms to the side and sway them first to the left three times and then to the right once. Repeat and then reverse. We call this the LOVEseat SWAY.

• Make sure that your BREAKFAST, LUNCH and DINNER all support your cleansing goals. The fundamental building blocks of any good program will always include a combination of powders, liquids and gels but never solids. We specialize in those that are murky and viscous so that you cannot swallow too much at once. In addition, if our greens are too bright, we tone them down with a smidgen of aged raw lamb to help with nightly evacuation.

• Remember, this program is not for everyone, but only very special people