Wednesday, June 3, 2009

BE: Spiritual Drivel

One should always be on the alert for what I like to call "Sprivel" - spiritual drivel. This goes beyond road-side platitudes, like "If God is your co-pilot switch seats," or "Thou Shalt Not Kill or Commit Adultery" or "Be Nice." I had my "sprivel" epiphany when I realized that someone I thought was awful was a really nice person and that I had, for years, been malicious and hideously judgemental. I thought to myself that maybe I should reconsider my assessment after she willingly gave up her airline seats on the last flight out to Gstadd for me and my daughter last Friday. We really wanted to go and, although we tried not to whine when we got to the door of the airplane late, we just had to. She single handedly got the flight attendant (I secretly still like calling them stewardesses, it brings back warm feelings of the glamourous days of travel when you got all dressed up, were fed well and elegantly served by perky-chested beauties in lovely navy uniforms and faux-Hermes scarves...oh...) open the door and not only let us in. She then gave up her seat. I really underestimated her and felt that she was a nice person for the first time. I had been so unfair for so long. Then came the epiphany. There was lady in first class (who really looked a little iffy) and she witnessed my enemy's kind gesture and she said "Do unto others." I admit I looked blankly at her and she continued, "Are you really going to let her give up her seat for you? Don't you know the golden rule: Treat others as you yourself would want to be treated..." It was then that I realized: Ppphhh, that is such a load of drivel, wrapped in the sanctimonius garb of spirituality. Of course not, I said. It makes her feel good and makes me feel good to. Sprivel! It is a bottomless pit! Spoof Gwyneth Paltrow GOOP.

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